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Have you ever wished you had experts you could turn to for advice in all the varied areas of your life: your work, your home, your finances, even your emotions? TED has you covered!
In our How to Be a Better Human podcast, host Chris Duffy talks to an engaging mix of world-class researchers, thinkers, and entrepreneurs (read on for more!) and learns actionable insights we can all use to improve our days. and nights Read on for the tips he has personally found most helpful, and listen to the episodes here.
As the host of TED’s How to Be a Better Human Being podcast, I’ve found that one of the most common reactions people have when hearing about the show is to ask me, “What have you learned from it? And how can I become a better human being?
Well, actually, that’s sugarcoating it a bit. If I’m honest, what really happens when people learn about the show is that they raise their eyebrows and look at me, apparently thinking, “Who the hell are you, podcast guy, to think you can tell us how to become a better human being?” ? ”
That’s why I almost always quickly add: “I’m not the best human in the title! The best humans are the guests, and I’m just a normal person trying to understand their ideas.”
That said, over two seasons and 62 episodes that include interviews with a fascinating and diverse group of people, including a sleep researcher, a Native American chef, a data journalist, and an award-winning Broadway set designer, even a dung like me has chosen any ideas.
Here are the tips that stuck in my head and have tried to apply in my own life:
1. Improve your relationship by entering a love triangle
George Blair-West MD is an Australian relationship expert, researcher and psychiatrist, and has been married for 34 years. He told me that the key to a lasting relationship of any kind is to enter into a love triangle, sadly not the kind you see on a soap opera.
No, what George meant by triangle is taking the same three steps over and over again in your relationship.
Step One – You need to trust that when you share something vulnerable with your partner, that they will respect your trust and not use it against you.
Step Two: You test that trust by sharing something with them that you’re worried people will find out about you.
And step three: You keep building intimacy as you do this over and over again and realize that your partner will still care about you, despite your flaws.
Okay, it might not sound as spicy as the other kind of love triangle, but secrets, hidden foibles, and the building of deep, meaningful, passionate love? It’s still pretty good!
George’s advice is something I think about a lot. Whenever I’m afraid to have a conversation with my wife or admit how I really feel to her, I’m reminded of George’s point that that’s it! The best way to make your relationship deeper and stronger is by allowing yourself to be human, admitting the things you are ashamed of, and saying them out loud to your partner. Because when you say them and the other person loves you anyway? ooh baby That’s the good thing.
Click here to listen to the episode.
2. You are bigger than your job
Greta Morgan is a writer and musician whose musical projects include Vampire Weekend, Springtime Carnivore, and Gold Motel. She has toured the world and played in front of huge venues full of adoring fans.
But one day, she was diagnosed with a vocal disorder, one that took away her ability to sing. Suddenly, her ideas about what her life and career would be like changed drastically.
So what would you do if what defines you disappeared overnight? Many of us have merged our identities with our work, often forgetting who we really are in the process. When I spoke with Greta, she made such a compelling case for how being forced to redefine herself ended up expanding her understanding of her creativity and resilience.
Similarly, I have struggled to link my self-esteem to my performance and my career. Greta offered me a reminder that if we can stop clinging to our ideas of who we are “supposed to be”, we will allow ourselves to grow and discover our deepest, most authentic selves.
To me, that means valuing the creative work I do and personally enjoy, even if it doesn’t sell or make money. And it means I’m open to trying new things, even if they don’t necessarily fit under the “comedy” umbrella, like writing a blog post for TED on how to be a better human being.
Click here to listen to the episode.
3. Never be afraid to make trouble.
I’ve never identified with a joke more than when I heard comedian John Mulaney say, “You could pour some hot soup on my lap and I’d probably apologize.”
I hate conflict and never want to make a fuss or create an awkward situation. But my conversation with Luvvie Ajayi Jones convinced me that it’s not really a trait to be proud of. Instead, standing upstream is a muscle I need to build and grow.
Luvvie describes herself as a “career troublemaker”. She says that if we really want to improve the world and tackle the big, important problems, meekly following the rules won’t be enough. Talking to her completely reframed the idea of ”problem” for me, leading me to think of it as a necessary step on the road to improvement rather than a sign that I was being difficult or not a gamer. team. So now I’m trying to ground myself every time I get a pang of “That’s not right.”
A friend pulls a troublesome prank? Maybe he can have a talk with them about it and not just giggle awkwardly at me.
Is there a person on the street who seems lost or confused? Maybe I can check in instead of assuming they’ll ask if they need help. (Even writing this makes me a little nervous as I imagine an older man yelling at me that he’s not confused or lost and how dare I imply that he was!)
But I want to address these smaller scale, minor moments so that I can feel more comfortable being uncomfortable. That way, when something big happens, I’ll have the troublesome muscles to do what needs to be done. I certainly wouldn’t say I’m a professional troublemaker yet, but maybe I’m an aspiring amateur.
Click here to listen to the episode.
4. Be the best at having terrible ideas.
Frans Johansson has spent his career studying innovation and what makes some ideas truly innovative. One of the things he discovered is that it’s easy to find support for his ideas if he only makes gradual changes.
Let’s say it’s 1970 and you’re working to make home phones 10 percent more efficient. Everyone at the phone company has likely jumped on board. But if you told them you were working on an idea to make phones that could work outdoors and without wires, you’d probably be out in the cold. And yet, looking back, we can clearly see which idea was more valuable.
I’ve been trying to embrace that idea more in my own life: making bigger changes. Frans says that if you want to find novel solutions, you have to rule out the first things that come to mind, the obvious answers.
Try something weird! It may not work, but as Frans says: “The most important factor is that you are interrupting your default thinking.” Also, when I set my goal simply as “come up with some terrible ideas,” I immediately feel better, because I’m very good at coming up with bad ideas. In fact, I’ve decided it’s my specialty.
Click here to listen to the episode.
5. Be a better conversationalist by keeping your mouth shut
I speak for a living, whether it’s hosting this podcast, doing standup, or pulling jokes for a TV show. But still, one of the most scared times doing this podcast was when I was interviewing Celeste Headlee. She is an award-winning journalist who has done everything from presenting morning news on public radio to covering presidential campaigns. She is an expert in great conversations. So the pressure was high for our conversation to be… not terrible, you know?
Luckily, Celeste made my job easy and offered lots of helpful advice, including how to pick one conversation skill to work on at a time. This small step can dramatically improve your relationships and your results at work. For me, I’m working on being quieter and, as Celeste says, “not equating talking with talking.” Because if you want to have a great conversation, it’s not about following the tips and tricks to “appear to be involved” in the conversation, you have to be really involved. So now I’ll shut up.
Click here to listen to the episode.
6. And if all else fails, try to be perfect
Michael Schur is the comedy writer behind many of my favorite TV shows including Saturday Night Live, The Office, Parks and Recreation, The Good Place. (And, very occasionally, in front of the scenes, like when he played Dwight’s terrifying cousin, Mose, on The Office.) But Michael’s true passion isn’t pranks; it is moral philosophy.
In our episode, Michael talked to me about why he’s obsessed with pursuing the eternal, perhaps unanswered question of “how to be perfect,” and why he believes that caring about ethics, on any level, can actually make a difference. Whether it’s deciding which brand of eco-friendly toilet paper to buy (or just switching to an electronic bidet), agonizing over whether it’s okay to listen to music made by a terrible person, or deciding whether it’s okay to go to bed, a list of ways to become a better person I take comfort in Michael’s reminder that people have been wrestling with these questions for thousands of years. (Maybe not these exact questions, I don’t think electronic bidets existed until recently.)
He argues that the right thing to do is to engage with the questions rather than ignore them and try to find a moral framework that we can hold onto. I’m not there yet, but I’m thinking more deeply about the ethical quandaries that every decision I make inevitably raises (and I’ve decided I’m not ready for a bidet just yet. Maybe next year…)
Click here to listen to the episode.
Did you like this article? The advice doesn’t stop here: We’re just getting started with new weekly episodes of How to Be a Better Human Being all year long. Give it a listen for more delicious and useful bits of information that can help you in all aspects of your life. here.
Watch this special TED Membership conversation with Luvvie Ajayi Jones now:
Source: news.google.com