Every two weeks I read an article about a middle-aged woman lamenting the fact that she is now invisible. That store clerks and bartenders have begun to ignore her. That she no longer sees herself in ads (except for adult diapers and arthritis gels).
I understand invisibility. I am 42 years old, of course I cannot attract the attention of the bartenders. I can’t even get the social media facial recognition algorithms to see me; today BeReal claimed that “Your friends will definitely prefer to see your face!” after I posted a clear, full face, smiling selfie.
jean flynn
But here’s the thing: I’ve forever been invisible. As a teenager, at 20, at 30. Invisibility for me is nothing new.
In a recent episode of the imperfect podcast, Hugh van Cuylenburg is asked: “What do you see when you look in the mirror?” His answer: an old man. Or at least an older version of himself. He talks about how he finally seems to be his age (42, just like me!) and how uncomfortable he is with it.
But during his self-analysis, van Cuylenburg wonders if becoming insecure about aging is “more of a woman thing, because women are used to being told how beautiful they are and maybe their identity is a little bit more tied to how they look.” ”. .
Are you used to being told how beautiful they are? Ha! That made me laugh. I have never been told how beautiful I am. Ok, my husband told me, but he has such poor eyesight that he wouldn’t know if I was facing him or my back. And giving me compliments is one of his marital duties.
By the time I’m 90, I’ll probably be a total hottie.
What I mean is that a family member, a friend, a drunk stranger, an inappropriate boss, a creepy teacher, a guy on public transportation, a tradie on a scaffold, a social network have never told me how beautiful she is. am. rando or someone’s nanna. Neither. Even on my wedding day, most of the guests just said, “What a beautiful dress.”
Now don’t think I’m writing this hoping someone will find my image on Google and then contact me to say I shouldn’t be so hard on myself because “I’m not that bad.” Also, I don’t want anyone to remind me that “beauty is on the inside” or that maybe if I had a better personality or smiled more or wore makeup I might look prettier.
Source: news.google.com