“So, Dr. Hass, let me tell you how it really started,” said Ms. E., 85, graceful but frighteningly thin. “Things really started to unravel when my husband was diagnosed with cancer a couple of months ago. behind.”
I squirmed in a chair in the hospital room. “I want to get to the real reason why you lost all this weight and ended up in the hospital, but now I can’t give him the time he deserves,” I said as I got up and ran for the door. “Let’s talk about it tomorrow.”
People often ask what is the hardest part of my job as a doctor in a hospital. Tell people about a cancer diagnosis? Revives not going well? Honestly, it’s the interactions like the one I had with Ms. E, when I can’t have the conversation, that would build our connection and get us to the heart of what my patient is ailing. Because often having those conversations, which are healing for the patient and meaningful to me, means missing out on priceless moments with my family.
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That day, I got out of the hospital as fast as I could and jumped in my car. My youngest daughter was graduating high school that weekend…and somehow I ended up working for most of it. Had she made me wrong again, or not? Maybe I had screwed up my incredibly rewarding, but sometimes incredibly painful job again. Driving home to join my family, I realized I needed to think more deeply about my work-life balance.
I’ve learned that I’m not the only one struggling. A recent study by Tait Shanafelt and colleagues showed that after a slight dip in 2020, burnout rates in my profession increased by almost 100%, with 62.8% of physicians having at least one symptom of burnout and almost half dissatisfied with their working life. balance. The data is equally discouraging in nursing, teaching and mental health services. In our always-connected world, even those with a “9 to 5” schedule can’t “leave it at the office” either. Women, especially those with children at home, and people of color tend to suffer more than others.
This is a good time to ask, once again: How can we find ways to balance the needs of people at work, the needs of those at home, and our own needs for both connection and alone time?
From balance to integration
Work-life conflict arises in a couple of ways. We suffer when our tasks (like seeing my patients) and our values (like valuing time with my family) are misaligned. It was me walking away from a patient who wanted to talk and stressed about getting to my family party before the end of the day!
I don’t like the word “balance” in this context because it suggests trade-offs: we must take from life to give to work. With balance, there is the implication that life and work are in opposition and that “life” happens outside of work.
But, for many of us, work is an important, generative, and meaning-generating part of life. The struggle is how to integrate work with our other roles and responsibilities, both the ones we must do and the ones we want to do. That’s why I prefer to think in terms of work-life integration, not balance.
Work-life integration suggests that there may be a mix of work and life and even possible synergies between aspects of life, such as family, work, community and personal well-being. From my point of view, our goal should be an alignment of our personal values and our priorities, the tasks we need to complete, in terms of our allocation of time and energy.
Conflict can also arise with the loss of control of boundaries. The construction of those boundaries must be highly individualized. Reading for work at night after coaching your son’s team can be a good form of integration for some, but for others, nights can be non-negotiable downtime. The goal is to set clear boundaries so that we can be present and productive in the tasks at hand.
How exactly to create these limits can be easy in principle but complicated in practice; getting it right requires careful thought and repeated revisions. Not doing it well leads to feeling overwhelmed; the resulting stress leads to burnout. So how should we work towards a state of integration?
What is the most important thing to you?
Cory Pitre and his colleagues at Indiana University have developed a great program to help their medical staff with this process. I’m going to borrow from his work to suggest steps you can take toward better work-life integration.
One of the first steps in his program was to ask the participants to sit down and first write down their values. According to the show, these should be more philosophical; they should be about the guiding ideas we want to live by, such as love, family time, community service, wisdom, or self-care.
Then we must identify our most important roles and responsibilities at home, work, and in our personal lives. These should be specific, like a yoga class, earning money, babysitting, patient care, the big project at work, time with friends.
It has been said that “the key is not to prioritize your schedule but to schedule your priorities.” Once you’ve thought about your most important responsibilities and values, you can use that information to guide your programming.
When done in small groups, this exercise leads to lasting improvements in work-life integration. Similarly, one-on-one coaching on this improves integration and reduces burnout, according to a 2019 study. Of course, not all organizations and individuals can afford such coaching, but we can answer these questions on our own and even with friends who They are struggling with similar issues.
Many people have offered plans for allocating our time and energy to improve our work-life integration, but they tend to focus on efficiency rather than address cognitive conflicts. For example, telling yourself that you’re done with work doesn’t necessarily stop your thoughts about work. Nor do they include strategies for dealing with work-life conflicts that will arise in a busy and purposeful life. This is where a Greater Good-informed work-life integration (WLI) framework can help us, building on the research this post has covered over the years. Here are some steps you can take.
1. Start with self-awareness. Simply recognizing the need for WLI requires awareness; making a habit of noticing where our mind is going and what our body is saying is key to making sure we are on track with our plan.
Our boundaries are not solid like a stone wall. A defined time frame and locations can help, but in the end the limits must also be cognitive. Our mind tends to wander to places we’d rather it not go, like back to work! Conscious self-awareness is our best method of investigating why this might be, and then working on solutions.
2. Articulate your priorities, set your limits, and make your schedule. Take a look at the exercise above and let it inform you as you plan. Weekly or even daily planning is time well spent. As you schedule, plan to take on your important work tasks first when you are at your best. Schedule in time for yourself and your loved ones as well. Put good boundaries around the “must haves” in your personal life.
3. Hone your time management skills. Find tech “hacks” to help you plan and coordinate those plans with others, like using and sharing Google Calendar at home and at work. Turn transition times like commuting into productive time; Reflect on your successes and failures as you review your time management strategies.
4. Delegate. At home, this means renting things out, if you can afford it, and making the people you live with do their part. On the job, this means operating to the best of your skill set while training others to take on tasks when appropriate.
5. Maximize your focus by taking breaks and working in bursts. Do the hard work in bursts; Avoid interruptions and multitasking. You’ll be more productive and creative if you take breaks that use other parts of your brain. Also keep in mind that being outdoors and vacations make you more productive!
6. Work fluently but keep in mind your limits. It can be okay to take calls while you cook dinner, but only if it gives you the time you really want away from work and thoughts about work don’t stay with you all night. You need to know yourself so that your limits are maintained.
7. Be your authentic self while connecting with others. Essential to WLI is being “the real you” at work; You will be happier, better at your job, and better able to advocate for the changes you need to adjust your WLI.
8. Communicate. Try to talk with family, friends, and colleagues about what is most important to you. Ask them about their own values, needs, and responsibilities. You can discover what you have in common with your coworkers. At home, you can find out from loved ones if your WLI idea works for them.
9. Draw strength from your sense of purpose. Finding meaning in our work and personal lives helps affirm our values and provides the strength to buffer the stress that arises when we encounter unavoidable boundary issues.
10. Go easy on yourself. Things happen, the best laid plans go awry, and most of us don’t have the most realistic expectations. Your house may not be as clean as you’d like, your kids’ hair is better brushed, and not all your work products are up to scratch. Keep an eye on your values, keep making time to get organized, and see what you might need to change! Also be sure to give yourself some love and be grateful for your rich and dynamic life.
The integration of work and personal life will not be the same for all people; It depends on your personality and type of employment. For those on the computer at home, or “digital nomads,” the challenges will be around “when am I away from work?”, and perhaps about meaning and connection when I’m not in the regular company of others. For those of us in the people professions, the challenges will be related to managing the suffering of others while dealing with misaligned incentives and lack of control.
Personally, I’ve learned that not working carefully on integrating work and personal life is a form of passive acquiescence to work that can take much more than it can give. I can miss some important events, like that weekend of my daughter’s graduation. Addressing this requires conscious self-reflection and some broader conversations about what I need from the job and what the job needs from me. I suspect that delving into work-life integration will prompt similar thoughts in almost everyone.
Source: news.google.com