Figuring out what to eat for dinner. Find a new show to watch. Choose the right mechanic to repair your car. Decide whether to confront a co-worker who took credit for your idea.
On any given day, you may make more decisions than you can count. Some minor or small-scale decisions may be easier, but, again, not necessarily, as anyone who has spent more time scrolling through Netflix than watching a show can attest.
However, when it comes to important or life-changing decisions, you may find yourself agonizing over your choices and their potential consequences, for hours or days.
Difficulty making decisions often stems from the misconception that you only have one “right” and one “wrong” option, explains Alison Gomez, a California-based licensed marriage and family therapist. But giving yourself permission to explore, make mistakes and learn from your experiences can relieve some of this pressure, according to Gomez.
Gomez also says that learning certain decision-making skills can take a lot of stress out of making decisions and help you:
make decisions more efficientlymeet your goals better make decisions you are less likely to regret later
Developing strong decision-making skills can also help boost your confidence, says Rachel Larrain Montoni, a licensed psychologist who offers therapy in Washington DC and New York City. This boost in confidence can help you feel more empowered and confident when faced with challenging decisions in the future.
Below are eight strategies that can help you gain some clarity during the decision-making process.
When making important, life-changing decisions, Liz White, a clinical psychologist and founder of Harley Clinical Psychology, recommends first defining your goals and values, and then asking yourself which option best aligns with them.
Knowing what matters most to you can help you make the decision that best suits your needs.
Let’s say you’re trying to decide whether to move across the country in search of a promising career opportunity. If one of your core values is family relationships and moving will bring you closer to your loved ones, you may decide that it’s worth making the move. Alternatively, if you identify freedom and flexibility as some of your core values, and this job has a rigid schedule, you may decide not to do it.
This approach can also have many benefits if you have people-pleasing tendencies. Identifying your unique values and life goals can help you learn to make decisions based on what’s best for you, rather than what’s best for other people.
Decisions are often more difficult to make when there are too many options to consider.
In an earlier study, customers at a grocery store encountered one of two different displays offering free jam samples. One screen offered 6 flavors, while the other offered 24 flavors. Although more customers stopped by the display with more flavors, they were much less likely to buy a jar of jam than customers who stopped by the display with only 6 flavors. The researchers attributed this finding to “choice overload.”
In short, a plethora of options can leave you so overwhelmed that you might end up with no choice at all.
Setting some boundaries around your decisions, then, might make them a little easier. For example:
Trying to choose a contractor to fix your windows? Schedule budgets with three professionals. Are you looking for a new outfit for a friend’s wedding? Stick to browsing two stores. Ready to try a new hobby? Write down your top three choices and pick one out of a hat.
Do you find yourself starting to overthink a particular decision? Taking a mindfulness break — whether that means a 10-minute meditation, breathing exercises or restorative yoga — might help, according to marriage and family therapist Lindsey Ferris.
A 2015 review found that meditation can support better decision-making by:
increase your awareness and acceptance of the present without prejudice increase empathy help you regulate your emotions promote reflective thinking reduce impulsivity
Perhaps you are trying to decide whether to move in with your partner or continue to live on your own.
“Think through all of your options and listen to how your body reacts,” Ferris suggests.
You can sit quietly with the thought of living together, mentally scanning your body for signs of a reaction. If you feel some tightness in your chest, tightness in your jaw, or discomfort in your stomach, that could suggest that you’re not ready to take the leap yet; a part of you still resists the idea.
Sometimes it can be helpful to get the perspective of a close friend or family member, especially when making important decisions that could affect your life as a whole. Just make sure you talk to someone you feel emotionally safe with, says Ferris.
Of course, asking everyone you know for their thoughts could only overwhelm you even more if they have conflicting opinions. Montoni suggests choosing someone who has previous experience with the topic at hand or whose judgment you really trust.
When trying to decide whether to send your child to preschool, for example, you might consider asking a sibling or friend who has children the same age.
Listing the pros and cons is a practical technique you can use when deciding whether or not to make a change, says Montoni.
In your chart, include two columns: one for the pros and one for the cons. His graph will also have two rows: one to represent change and one to keep things the same.
Let’s say that for some time you have felt that your relationship is not meeting your needs. Your partner is kind and considerate, but something doesn’t feel right. You’ve considered splitting things up, but haven’t made up your mind yet, so you decide to try a chart for more clarity.
Your graph might read something like this:
Considering your thoughts clearly laid out in the chart, you may notice that ending the relationship has more advantages, while staying has more disadvantages.
More importantly, you may find that your reasons for staying have a lot to do with not wanting to hurt or upset your partner, while your reasons for breaking up have more to do with your own personal needs.
Of course, charts and lists can’t make a decision for you. But they do help you organize your thoughts into a readable format, which can make the process easier in the end.
To put things in perspective, Montoni suggests considering the best and worst possible outcomes for each choice.
If you tend to think pessimistically, this technique can remind you of the possible positives that could come from your decision. It can also reinforce the fact that even the worst case scenario may not affect your life all that much.
Let’s say you applied for a job at a company you admire. Although he is somewhat underqualified for the position, he believes that he can easily acquire the skills that he does not have and has the passion to do the job well.
But when the hiring department calls to offer you an interview, you start to feel a little anxious and wonder if you should accept. After all, you don’t have each and every skill they wanted in a candidate.
By trying this exercise, you can identify “embarrassing myself in the interview” and “not getting the job” as the worst case scenarios.
But then you consider the best possible outcome: they admire your motivation and enthusiasm, and you get the job. This possibility helps you decide to accept the interview.
Putting your thoughts and feelings about a particular decision in writing can help you resolve some of your doubts and fears and ultimately provide additional perspective on what you hope to accomplish with that decision, says Ferris.
Some pointers for journaling to get you started:
Does the thought of a particular election leave you feeling energized or drained? Why? What additional information do you need before you can move forward with a decision? Visualize yourself 5 years from now, after you’ve made your decision. Describe your daily life. Imagine that a loved one is faced with the same decision and write them a letter offering your thoughts and advice.
Making certain decisions can seem daunting, especially when you’re caught up in what could go wrong. That’s why Gomez says it’s important to remind yourself that no matter what happens, you will survive and adapt.
“Life is always in motion and you can keep making decisions to correct the mistake or learn from it,” adds Gómez.
Take a moment to think about some decisions you wish you could change. Even if you weren’t very happy with the result, you may have gained something positive anyway: new insights about yourself or clarity about your needs, for example.
When you remember that you can still thrive after making a decision that doesn’t work, you may feel less afraid of making the so-called “wrong” decision.
Any number of techniques can help you make tough decisions, from meditating and journaling to checking in with a trusted loved one. Just keep in mind that there is no single correct way to make a decision, just like there is no single correct decision, and not all of these methods will work for everyone.
“Developing effective and efficient decision-making skills is an evolving process, so grace yourself while you work on this,” says Montoni.
A therapist can offer more support if you often doubt your abilities and self-awareness, or if you constantly find it difficult to make any decisions.
Rebecca Strong is a Boston-based freelance writer who covers health and wellness, fitness, food, lifestyle, and beauty topics. Her work has also been featured on Insider, Bustle, StyleCaster, Eat This Not That, AskMen, and Elite Daily.
Source: news.google.com